Saturday, September 10, 2011

My ex-husband was lazy in bed - Dora

My ex-husband was lazy in bed - Dora
By Joseph Mwenda in Petauke
Sat 10 Sep. 2011, 14:00 CAT

MMD spokesperson Dora Siliya on Thursday revealed to Petauke residents that she divorced her husband because he was lazy in bed. And Siliya urged men in Petauke Central Constituency to admire her beauty and soft bums and not each other's beards because the laws of Zambia prohibit homosexuality.

Addressing about 500 villagers who attended her rally at Minga Stop Basic School, Siliya, who is MMD parliamentary candidate in the area, urged people not to vote for PF leader Michael Sata because he failed to develop the country when he was in government.

Speaking in Nsenga, Siliya likened Sata to her ex-husband whom she said she chased because he was lazy in bed and failed to give her children.

"Neo niwela kuno kuti nikwatileko nivyale, lomba alumebasu everyday pakuyolala usikuonse ni bombasa… Lomba seo tanakazi tukuti yai uyo nimchiza mkwelekazi tichiti nkhoyani kwanu nkhoyani musakileko ayakine, lomba akolwa tujilijili akuti Dora ningakupase vumo neo, ee! Ningakupase vumo neo, anipasile vumo panja pabanthu?

(I got married in order to bear children. Now my husband, all the time when going to sleep he puts on boxer shorts. Now, us women we call such a person a relief provider to the wife. I said go and find another one. Now he is drunk with tujilijili and he is saying ‘Dora I can impregnate you'. Will he impregnate me from outside in full view of people?"

Siliya said after she divorced her husband, other women who thought were more beautiful than her went after him thinking she failed in her marriage.

"Nufuna munikonkhe bwino nikaliyo silizhya. Lomba neo nebautushya olabila tetyo panja. Mphela ayakine asimbi akuti yai a Dora akangiwa chikwati ne nitoleko instead yakuti anikonshye kuti weo chewebautushila nichinji? Ati a Dora akangiwa nitole chikwati pakuti beve ndiye abwino ngako. Lomba apa ochita akati tole kuya nao mung'nda ndiye pakuona ulesi wenebapitikishila neo.

"(I want you to follow me well. I have not yet finished. After I chased him, some ladies said Dora has failed in her marriage I will take over from her instead of asking me why I chased him. They thought they were more beautiful but now when they take him into the bedroom, that's when they see the laziness that I chased him for)" Dora said. "Ni same-same na Sata, a Sata olabila kunja lomba akuti neo ningachite ichi, alimonga niwala munakazi asakonshya kuti muyangu chemuutushila nichinji? Khaliwe ya Sata niipa, kubaona tyala pamenso ooneka kuti khalidwe yao niipa, kupa Sata vote nikuononga, nikutaya mumanzi.

"(It's the same with Sata, he is saying now when he is outside government that he can do this. It is like that woman who does not ask why her friend chased the husband. Sata is a bad man, you can tell from his face that he is a bad man and giving him a vote is wasting)."

And Siliya asked the men in her audience to admire her beauty and not each other's beards because the laws of Zambia prohibited homosexuality. She said men should be able to enjoy the pleasure of touching a woman's soft bums as that was the only way that people would bear children.

"Muniuzhya anyamata mwatawelela pano mukumbwila lini neo mukumbwilana ndevu? Mweo azimai sekaseka pangachoke vumo? Sichalo kusila? Analume mungakatane mweka mweka mafiga yokosa osati yamwanakazi? Vunvwika nga nivosekesha ka? (You men here, are you not admiring me? Are you admiring each other's beards? You women, can you get pregnant from a fellow woman? Isn't that the end of the world? You men, can you enjoy touching each other's hard bums instead of a woman's?)" she asked, amid cheering from the villagers who were eager to receive vitenge and other campaign materials.

After the rally, Siliya who arrived in the area with a truckload of campaign materials, asked the electorate to show her their voter's cards and National Registration Cards before she could dish out the supplies.

Meanwhile, PF Petauke Central parliamentary candidate Lenard Banda said Siliya was in Petauke to say goodbye to the people. He said Siliya was renting a house in Mayadi area because she did not have her own house in Petauke and wanted to fool residents into thinking that she comes from the area.

"If you have noticed, people here have nicknamed her ‘Konongo', a kind of bird which only shows up during the rainy season because it feeds on snails. This is what Dora is doing, renting a house for three weeks and after the elections she would disappear again," Banda said. "But the Nsenga people are not stupid."

Banda told a rally at Kaluba Basic School that Siliya had the money to dress trees in the constituency with campaign materials but could not dress a single orphan in Petauke.

Banda accused Siliya, who is former education minister, of issuing instructions to school headteachers in Petauke not to allow him or anybody else from the opposition to use the various school premises for their campaign activities even during weekends.

He said Siliya had been punishing the people who voted her in office by running away from their problems.

Banda said Siliya had nothing to tell the electorates in Petauke but only to bribe them with campaign materials which he said would not help her in this year's election because PF would be forming government on September 20.

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